Minor Assault Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
<-- Previous Episode | [[Minor Assault What is Gamergate?|Next Episode -->]] Length 1:07:53 Hosts Alex Matt David Le Tran Closing Song: Pizza Power and Go Ninja Go Ninja Go Content: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Notable Facts: Funny Stories and Quotes Alex *The person that sat behind me was awe inspiring and laughing for every scene. Like "TURTLES TALK WHAT THE FUCK?!" *Donatello reminded me of Freakenstein from Small Soldiers. *Random Assault is not backed by Paramount. *Minor chracters. **Matt - You mean April O' Neal. **David - Face it this is Megan Fox's best performance. *Guys I had no production involvement in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. **David - How could you rewrite the script when there was no writing. *Shredder was voiced by Tony Schlub. That's distracting. **Le - White guilt. *I think it's racist to put a white man in a Samurai suit. **Matt - White people are the minority where I work. **Le - White is still the majority. **Matt - In the middle of US but they don't fucking matter. They run the country but they don't fucking matter. *Deus Ex caused 9/11. **Matt - No I caused 9/11 but Seth McFarlene got drunk and missed his flight. *It felt like it was written by a 6 year old and Hollywood ran with it. *Power is hydrophobia. **Matt - Oh like black people. *The Turtlemobile had a rocket launcher. *My girlfriend said they didn't play the theme. You're wrong so I hit her and hit her. Matt *My name is Matt and we're here to talk about Expendables 3. *Let's have some decorum on this Minor Assault. It was okay. **Alex - I want to give it a stilled and repressed "It's okay" It's good? **Le - Pretty decent. It was a lot of fun. **David - I reviewed this for Geekendstein I went in wanting to like it, expecting to hate it, but It's fun? *The turtles looked monsterous and ugly. If there was other larger mutants I would have been scared. *Teenagers act like shitheads. **David - Like my brother. *I just want Casey Jones. *Nothing truly offensive about the movie. **David - Untrue. Script is fucking atrocious. The movie has no idea of how technology works. **Le - But suspension of disbelief. **David - NO! *Deus Ex is the holy grail of videogaming and if you say something bad you get crucified. *Instead of remaking just show the old movie again at the theater. *I like that TMNT wasn't a reboot but April O Neal was a karate expert and scientist. **Alex - Then what the fuck was that a continuation of? *I don't recommend people paying for it but at least watch it. **Le - To sum it up this movie. **Matt - SUCKS. David *I hate I can't say TMNT because that movie already exists. *Shredder us Tastsuo Weymora from Final Fantasy plus Transformers. *If you see this before Guardians of the Galaxy you can go fuck yourself. **Matt - Okay. **Alex - I agree. *Howard the Duck. **Alex - We're here to spoil one thing. **Matt - Is he black? **Alex - Yes. **Le and Matt - YAY! *(Shredder) They made him to badass where he could kill them all in an instant but didn't. *Transformers 2 fucking abysmal and a tragedy. *What fucking iteration of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles do you want? **Matt - A musical. **Alex - Coming out of our shells. *Are we done? **Matt - You can leave. Le Tran *Am I the minority that I like the stuff on them? *Side note to all Vietnamese listeners of Random Assault so me. **Alex - You gave yourself a shoutout. *He wants to turn everyone into lizards. **Matt - I do too. *Matt you have to believe. *Why do people have respect for Ninja Turtles? **Matt - Those people are still kids. *Comics people. **Alex - They would have been pissed but they had no internet. Category:Minor Assault Category:Alex Category:Le Tran Category:Dave Category:Willy Category:Guest